Paget Brewster Husband Steve Damstra: Their Marriage, Careers and Life Together

Fans who search for Paget Brewster’s husband are usually surprised—in the best way—to learn that the sharp, no-nonsense profiler Emily Prentiss from Criminal Minds is married to a laid-back musician and composer named Steve Damstra. Their relationship is quiet, creative, and deeply supportive, built far away from Hollywood drama and closer to real-life warmth.

Who Is Paget Brewster?

Paget Brewster is an American actress and voice performer born March 10, 1969, in Concord, Massachusetts. She first caught mainstream attention in the late 1990s with her recurring role as Kathy, Joey’s girlfriend, on Friends. But it was her portrayal of FBI agent Emily Prentiss on Criminal Minds that turned her into a fan favorite and an enduring TV presence.

Beyond Criminal Minds, Brewster has had a busy, eclectic career:

• Sitcoms like Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Grandfathered

• Voice work in Batman: The Animated Series-adjacent projects, DuckTales, and Birdgirl

• Guest spots in cult comedies such as Community

Off-screen, Paget is known for her dry wit, self-deprecating humor, and love of old Hollywood aesthetics. She’s active on social media, where she posts about her work, her dog, and occasional glimpses of her life with Steve—enough to make fans curious, but not so much that their privacy disappears.

Who Is Steve Damstra?

Steve Damstra is an American musician, songwriter, and film score composer. He first made his mark as the bassist and co-founder of the indie/noise rock band Whirlwind Heat, formed in the mid-1990s in Michigan.

With Whirlwind Heat, he:

• Played bass on albums like Do Rabbits Wonder?, produced in part by Jack White

• Toured and recorded through the 2000s as part of the band’s energetic, experimental sound

As his career evolved, Damstra shifted more into composing for film and television. His credits include music for indie films like Excision, The Learning Curve of a Warlord (often shortened to The Learning Curve), and Teenage Cocktail, as well as other screen projects.

Today, he splits his time between band-related work, solo music, and composing, all while generally keeping a low public profile. Most articles that mention him highlight two things: his creative output and the fact that he’s Paget Brewster’s husband.

How Paget Brewster and Steve Damstra Met

Paget and Steve’s love story has a very Criminal Minds connection: they met through their mutual friend and Paget’s co-star Matthew Gray Gubler, who plays Dr. Spencer Reid on the show. Gubler and Damstra had collaborated artistically in the past—Gubler even contributed artwork for Whirlwind Heat releases—so when he realized Steve and Paget might click, he introduced them.

From there, the two bonded over shared creative interests, offbeat humor, and a similar taste for quirky, artistic projects. Their early dating period was kept pretty quiet—no big red-carpet debuts or tabloid-style photo spreads. Instead, they built their relationship mostly out of the spotlight, which set the tone for how they still live today.

Engagement and Wedding

After dating for several years, Steve proposed to Paget in early 2013. She announced their engagement in March 2013 with a playful tweet showing off her jade engagement ring—simple, striking, and a little unconventional, much like the couple themselves.

About a year and a half later, they married in Los Angeles in late November 2014—most sources cite November 28 or 29, 2014—with an intimate ceremony attended by close friends and family. The officiant? None other than Matthew Gray Gubler, the friend who’d introduced them in the first place.

A few sweet details that fans love:

• The ceremony was small and low-key rather than over-the-top Hollywood

• Paget wore a vintage-inspired gown, and her jade ring remained a personal touch

• Gubler not only officiated but has also been credited with taking some of their engagement/wedding photos in his distinct artistic style

Since that day, Paget has occasionally referred to Steve as the love she found “later” in life, noting that she married in her mid-40s and was genuinely happy she waited for the right person.

Their Life Together Today

Paget Brewster and Steve Damstra live in Los Angeles, where they maintain a creative but relatively quiet life compared to many celebrity couples. Multiple profiles note that they have no children and share their home with pets instead, leaning into a cozy, artsy household.

Their day-to-day life, from what Paget occasionally shares, involves:

• Long workdays on sets or in studios

• Evenings with their dog, old movies, and cooking at home

• Supporting each other’s projects—she promotes his music; he celebrates her roles

Paget sometimes posts birthday tributes or anniversary messages, praising Steve’s kindness, talent, and patience. These glimpses show a couple who clearly enjoy one another’s company and don’t feel the need to broadcast every moment.

Professionally, they’ve also crossed paths creatively. Steve’s experience in film and TV scoring aligns naturally with Paget’s acting world, and though not every collaboration is publicized, interviews and credits show that their artistic worlds overlap more than occasionally.

Balancing Two Creative Careers

One reason their marriage seems to work so well is that both understand the unpredictable rhythms of creative work. Paget’s schedule can involve long shoots, tight promotion windows, and odd hours. Steve’s composing and recording can be equally all-consuming when deadlines loom.

Instead of clashing, their careers appear to foster mutual respect. They know what it means to be “in the zone,” to chase a deadline, or to get lost in a project. That shared understanding helps them give each other space when needed and cheer each other on when a new opportunity appears.

They also share a similar sensibility—offbeat, a bit nerdy, and appreciative of art, music, and old-school style. That shared aesthetic shows up in everything from Paget’s retro fashion choices to Steve’s musical projects and even their home décor, according to small details Paget has dropped in interviews and social posts.

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